Home Ec for the Helpless

Friday, March 8, 2013

Time Management and the Stay At Home Mom

You organized the silverware drawer -- whew, that was tough. Reward yourself! Sit back; have a cup of tea and contemplate good things for 15 minutes.

Seriously?

I worked as a waitress for 15 years. Know how many breaks I got?
Zero.
You know how often my coworkers and I complained about not getting breaks?
Never.

Because making as much money as possible in one shift is the goal of any wait person. And you can’t realize that goal sitting on the curb by the dumpster dragging on a cigarette.

OK, but you're not a waitress, you're a Stay At Home Mom.

What is your goal for each day?

“Good kids and a clean house.”

(That is my mom’s permanent answer to, “What do you want for your birthday/Christmas/Mother’s Day?” It used to make me crazy since I knew we couldn't deliver. Now I totally understand the wish.)

I can’t reach my goal without some serious elbow grease. I definitely won't get there by refusing to do anything useful for 15 minutes out of every waking hour. (Yeah, yeah, mental health is infinitely useful; you know what I mean.)

Certainly we all need a break from time to time, but not after every freaking task. I constantly read advice hyping the short shift for moms who don't work outside the home: Stay At Home Moms should work for 45 minutes then take a 15 minute break.

Do I really need 15 minutes to recover from mopping the floor or folding laundry? If I do, I’d damned well better be really old or really sick.

SAHMs are patted on the head with condescension disguised as encouragement: Good for you! You cleaned the kitchen/fed the children/vacuumed the living room. You must be worn out -- treat yourself!

Can’t a Stay At Home Mom focus on a set of tasks and power through the day -- just as any working person is expected to? Without the treats? Don’t patronize me. If I’m doing a shit job, I know it. I am choosing to be overwhelmed. I am opting out of adulthood. I am hiding my head in the internet. I am not in need of a break.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Positive Discipline: Sunshine and Roses

For someone who gets irritated by vastly varied things it is amazing what does not bother me. For one, if I truly think you're stupid, nothing you do or say will bother me in the least; you can't help it.

Or posts like this one:
Parenting -- I Quit

They don't bother me at all. In fact, I laughed the whole time I read it, and laughed harder reading the comments. I do hate that she felt like she had to give a disclaimer so people didn't crap all over her comments, but most everyone played nicely and the comments are commisseration paradise for parents.

It is always great to read something that makes you feel less alone. You are as young as you feel, right? I'm 37 with 2 kids yet my 17 yr old smart ass loud mouth know-it-all self ignores that and is always first in line to deal with emotions and reactions -- it's usually fun, but not when I'm trying to use Positive Discipline with my children.

If you've ever felt like you're the only one who doesn't experience Positive Discipline as all sunshine and roses, relax: you're human. If your automatic response to kids doing crazy things is calm and sweetness, yay you.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Never Interrupt A Reading Child.

"I don't want to put the book down."
It's right up there with "I did it." (Confession), "I did it!" (Accomplishment), and "Mommy, I brushed my teeth and made my bed. Can we start school now?" for my favorite sentences ever.
"I love you" always takes first prize of course, and the one about brushed teeth is only in my dreams.
But "I don't want to put the book down"??? Wow. I just love it.
And it made me think: It is "Never wake a sleeping baby" 2.0.
"Never interrupt a reading child." Never.